The term "what if" is something I ponder quite often in life. Sometimes I wonder "what if" about little things, like "what if I would've gotten McDonalds instead of Burger King". But sometimes it's something big like "what if I said I love you sooner". But I never really ponder on the question for too long. I find that over-thinking those kind of questions can really do a number on the heart and the brain for that matter.
The small things are just trivial and don't matter too much. But the big ones, those are the ones that kinda stick. Sometimes I wonder "what if my parents never got divorced". Would I be the man I am today? Or would I be a completely different person? I kinda believe I might be different. But who knows? I used to wonder what I would be like today had I had more self-esteem in my younger years? Maybe if I had more confidence back then, I'd be a stronger man today. I know that some will argue that it's the little flaws that make me great. But maybe it would've made me an even greater man. Then again, more confidence could've made me into a huge douche. I don't regret my level of self-esteem from back then. While I still hated so much of life, I had fun. And I'm confident that I'm a much better person for it.
I wanted to just simply make a list of a bunch of "what if's" but I guess I felt like elaborating more.
I do have a few "what if's" I can share that have run through my mind as of late.
What if I didn't try so hard?
What if I wasn't quite so passive?
What if I wasn't afraid of saying something that might hurt someone?
What if it really is too late?
What if I can't start over?
What if I took more chances?
